How to Be Human: An Autistic Man's Guide to Life
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- Author：Jory Fleming
- ISBN：1501180509
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Summary
An unforgettable， unconventional narrative that examines the many ways to be fully human， told by the first young adult with autism to attend Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar。
As a child， Jory Fleming was wracked by uncontrollable tantrums， had no tolerance for people， and couldn’t manage the outside world。 Slightly more than a decade later， he was bound for England， selected to attend one of the world’s premier universities。
How to Be Human explores life amid a world constructed for neurotypical brains when yours is not。 But the miracle of this book is that instead of dwelling on Jory’s limitations， those who inhabit the neurotypical world will begin to better understand their own: they will contemplate what language cannot say， how linear thinking leads to dead ends， and how nefarious emotions can be， particularly when， in Jory’s words， they are “weaponized。” Through a series of deep， personal conversations with writer Lyric Winik， Jory makes a compelling case for logical empathy based on rational thought， asks why we tolerate friends who see us as a means to an end， and explains why he believes personality is a choice。 Most movingly， he discusses how， after many hardships， he maintains a deep， abiding faith: “With people， I don’t understand what goes in and what comes out， and how to relate，” he says。 “But I can always reconnect with my relationship with my Creator。”
Join Jory and Lyric as they examine what it means to be human and ultimately how each of us might become a better one。 Jory asks us to consider: Who has value？ What is a disability？ And how do we correct the imbalances we see in the world？ How to Be Human shows us the ways a beautifully different mind can express the very best of our shared humanity。
As a child， Jory Fleming was wracked by uncontrollable tantrums， had no tolerance for people， and couldn’t manage the outside world。 Slightly more than a decade later， he was bound for England， selected to attend one of the world’s premier universities。
How to Be Human explores life amid a world constructed for neurotypical brains when yours is not。 But the miracle of this book is that instead of dwelling on Jory’s limitations， those who inhabit the neurotypical world will begin to better understand their own: they will contemplate what language cannot say， how linear thinking leads to dead ends， and how nefarious emotions can be， particularly when， in Jory’s words， they are “weaponized。” Through a series of deep， personal conversations with writer Lyric Winik， Jory makes a compelling case for logical empathy based on rational thought， asks why we tolerate friends who see us as a means to an end， and explains why he believes personality is a choice。 Most movingly， he discusses how， after many hardships， he maintains a deep， abiding faith: “With people， I don’t understand what goes in and what comes out， and how to relate，” he says。 “But I can always reconnect with my relationship with my Creator。”
Join Jory and Lyric as they examine what it means to be human and ultimately how each of us might become a better one。 Jory asks us to consider: Who has value？ What is a disability？ And how do we correct the imbalances we see in the world？ How to Be Human shows us the ways a beautifully different mind can express the very best of our shared humanity。
Reviews
Patti Quiring
，
The best part for me was at the end regarding FAITH， page 162: "Something that really speaks to me personally is the Christian message。 In terms of language， I feel almost like God thought of this in my case。 Because the message is just one word。 LOVE。 You know。 Straight from Jesus。 Which is great， because how awesome is it that you only need one word to get the message？ 。 。 。 I'm like， Aha！ Fewer words is a good thing。 For somebody with autism， I very much appreciate that really there's only on The best part for me was at the end regarding FAITH， page 162: "Something that really speaks to me personally is the Christian message。 In terms of language， I feel almost like God thought of this in my case。 Because the message is just one word。 LOVE。 You know。 Straight from Jesus。 Which is great， because how awesome is it that you only need one word to get the message？ 。 。 。 I'm like， Aha！ Fewer words is a good thing。 For somebody with autism， I very much appreciate that really there's only one word that's at the core。" Found it interesting on page 55 when he spoke about the Netflix show， Atypical--which I did watch， and his comment: "That Netflix show took a person's struggle and had all the stereotypes of autism causing problems， where because of these stereotypes， the lead actor couldn't seem to do what other people did。 All autistic people are like this。 Autism is far more than a collection of outward differences。 The one blanket statement that I can make about autism is that there is no blanket statement to be made about autism。" Further， pages 127-128， he spoke to a book he recalls， A CHILD'S HISTORY OF THE WORLD， which by reading it he got the idea that facts， when put together with other facts， can be really， really interesting。 After that， he subconsciously decided to acquire loads of facts， and that stuck with him--a desire to know more things。 The more he learned about things， the more he discovered what he didn't know 。 。 " Lastly， page 143/144--"When you blink， do you see black？" Jory replies: "Apparently about an hour of every waking day goes by in literal blinks， and your brain just stiches things together and you never recognize the absence of what you don't see while you blink。 But I see the black space when I blink， and if I miss anything because I blinked， I'm like what are you talking about？ It's annoying。 I go through that all the time。 I can't just turn it off。" Jory received a Master of Philosophy at Harvard as a Rhodes Scholar。 He also has a B。S。 degree from the University of South Caroling。 I initially spotted this book out of the WSJ。 Nice meeting you Jory！ 。。。more
Phoebe
，
“Living in a linear world will always warp my mind into a shape that it doesn't belong in。”How to Be Human is jointly written by Jory Fleming and Lyric Winik his interviewer and editor。 For the most part， it takes the Q&A format where Lyric presents a topic and Jory responds。 There are segments written by Lyric to provide supplementary details about Jory’s early years， his diagnosis， and current research on autism。 But mostly， it’s Jory and his thoughts。 The topics are diverse: language barriers “Living in a linear world will always warp my mind into a shape that it doesn't belong in。”How to Be Human is jointly written by Jory Fleming and Lyric Winik his interviewer and editor。 For the most part， it takes the Q&A format where Lyric presents a topic and Jory responds。 There are segments written by Lyric to provide supplementary details about Jory’s early years， his diagnosis， and current research on autism。 But mostly， it’s Jory and his thoughts。 The topics are diverse: language barriers， living as an autistic thinker， the world as a sensorium， socialisation in manmade environments， the meaning of friendship， faith and prayer， and his assistant dog， Daisy。 Even more astounding is the way he connects them––like overlapping shadows of trees—shifting， merging， breaking apart， and merging again。 The book isn’t long or difficult。 It’s 192 pages of conversations。 But it’s the type of book that provokes you to question things you don’t usually have time to muse on。 Unless your full-time job is philosophic orator in the Ancient Greek agora。 It’s the kind of book that makes you feel like you can tune in for the interesting bits， take a break and come back， and the discussion is still as lively as ever。" 。。。more
Mandy Thomas
，
There is so much to say about this book。 First， as a step-parent of an autistic child， yes！ I love the way Jory shares his thought process and how he works through the complexities of language - we know this all too well。 I greatly enjoyed his lists， how he discussed human emotions， and the discussion concerning his logical belief in Jesus。 Mostly， though， I found his diction on critical thinking to be the most heartfelt thought I have read in a long while。 Please read this book - with an open m There is so much to say about this book。 First， as a step-parent of an autistic child， yes！ I love the way Jory shares his thought process and how he works through the complexities of language - we know this all too well。 I greatly enjoyed his lists， how he discussed human emotions， and the discussion concerning his logical belief in Jesus。 Mostly， though， I found his diction on critical thinking to be the most heartfelt thought I have read in a long while。 Please read this book - with an open mind and a smile。 Because ruthless optimism is his thing， and you can read it in the text！ 。。。more
John Ingram
，
A new perspective This book can open your eyes to a new way of understanding anyone who is different than yourself。 I would recommend this book to all educators who are interested in bettering themselves in their profession。
Barbara Glantz
，
There is much insight I gleaned from this book but…。the format bothered me。 It’s in an interview format and I actually found it maddening。
Susan
，
This didn't grab me right from the start， but I became more and more fascinated as I kept reading。 The second half especially is truly illuminating。 I'm so thankful that this book exists and that I got to read it。 This didn't grab me right from the start， but I became more and more fascinated as I kept reading。 The second half especially is truly illuminating。 I'm so thankful that this book exists and that I got to read it。 。。。more
Linda
，
What an eye-opening feature with and by a man who supposedly has a disability。 Well， it certainly isn't a mental one。This book is really more an interview with the author where he explains， in no-nonsense vocabulary how he sees the world。 We should all be so blessed to see things through his eyes。 （I should explain that he is an Oxford Scholar。）I'd easily listen to this again when the crises of the world are getting me down。 This man is obviously a clear and unemotional thinker who knows exactly What an eye-opening feature with and by a man who supposedly has a disability。 Well， it certainly isn't a mental one。This book is really more an interview with the author where he explains， in no-nonsense vocabulary how he sees the world。 We should all be so blessed to see things through his eyes。 （I should explain that he is an Oxford Scholar。）I'd easily listen to this again when the crises of the world are getting me down。 This man is obviously a clear and unemotional thinker who knows exactly who he is。 。。。more
Eric Green
，
This book did a very good job of presenting one person’s experience of living with autism。 It did not live up to its title of a “how to” book， nor its subtitle of a “guide to life”， or a guide to anything for that matter。 The other inescapable shortcoming was that， although never explicitly stated， the book implies that all autistic people think the way that Jory does。 In reality， no two brains are alike， whether neurotypical or neurodivergent。 My concern is that neurotypical people will read th This book did a very good job of presenting one person’s experience of living with autism。 It did not live up to its title of a “how to” book， nor its subtitle of a “guide to life”， or a guide to anything for that matter。 The other inescapable shortcoming was that， although never explicitly stated， the book implies that all autistic people think the way that Jory does。 In reality， no two brains are alike， whether neurotypical or neurodivergent。 My concern is that neurotypical people will read this book and approach their autistic loved one（s） armed with precisely the wrong strategies， and this can be extremely distressing to an autistic person。 。。。more
Marvin Goodman
，
I've been doing a neurodiversity training program at work， to be eligible to hire and effectively manage a neurodivergent person。 I added this book to that training regimen， and was pleased with what it added to my understanding。 Crucially， it gave me insights into how to shape interactions， instructions， and expectations for the ways that a neurodivergent person might see them， and better understand them， now that I have a better understanding of （in particular） the language translation process I've been doing a neurodiversity training program at work， to be eligible to hire and effectively manage a neurodivergent person。 I added this book to that training regimen， and was pleased with what it added to my understanding。 Crucially， it gave me insights into how to shape interactions， instructions， and expectations for the ways that a neurodivergent person might see them， and better understand them， now that I have a better understanding of （in particular） the language translation process that may be involved。 I now know to offer instructions in a non-linear way， and to phrase the same thing in several different ways to improve the chances of understanding。An unexpected benefit was in seeing parts of myself in the way that Jory described his thought processes。 "Hey！ I think about things that way too！" was a frequent realization。 Reading Jory's story triggered just enough shared experience to make me confident that I could adapt my management processes to help a neurodivergent person be productive and happy in their work， and that has really inspired me。 。。。more
Sarah
，
I recently saw Jory interviewed by Walter Isaacson on Amanpour & Co （ https://youtu。be/A6cfcCYe5w4 ） and was so interested in this young man’s way of looking at the world。 Being autistic and graduating with a Masters Degree in Philosophy from Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar， Fleming beautifully describes how his brain works。 He is not limited by linear thinking。 He often doesn’t comprehend emotions but observes in others how emotions get in the way of progress and problem solving。 He think I recently saw Jory interviewed by Walter Isaacson on Amanpour & Co （ https://youtu。be/A6cfcCYe5w4 ） and was so interested in this young man’s way of looking at the world。 Being autistic and graduating with a Masters Degree in Philosophy from Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar， Fleming beautifully describes how his brain works。 He is not limited by linear thinking。 He often doesn’t comprehend emotions but observes in others how emotions get in the way of progress and problem solving。 He thinks beyond language and explains how language limits thoughts and ideas。 I get it as I’m struggling to find words to convey how mind-expanding this book is and how much admiration I have for Jory Fleming。 Yet， as impressive as his big ideas are， there are light and funny moments and he also lets us in on his likes - coffee， podcasts and birds …。 and dislikes - malls， small talk and sugar free soda。 Temple Grandin says “the world needs all types of minds” and I know the world so needs Jory Fleming。 I listened to the audiobook which is written and read in interview form。 Whether or not you have someone in your life on the autism spectrum， read this book！ 。。。more
Julie
，
I have deep admiration for the hard work， tenacity and drive it took for this young man to succeed。 I will be more aware and sensitive to the learning process of others， especially autistic learners。
Megan Diiorio
，
I was interested to hear first-hand about how someone with autism thinks。 The sidebars were most informative; the question and answer format meandered a bit。 Needed a more linear path。
Karen Calhoun
，
An extraordinary collaboration between a skilled writer/interviewer and a young autistic man， a Rhodes Scholar， who has put a great deal of effort into being able to interact in the neurotypical world。Many fascinating insights！
Conner Horak
，
Brief， illuminating moments when Mr。 Fleming illustrates how he sees the mundane things of our world （blinking comes to mind） make this slim book worth the read。
Anne
，
Mr。 Fleming is giving readers a gift by sharing how he thinks and how he processes information。 Knowing that he thinks in a way that would not occur to me gives me hope for my own son。 I know that my son sees the world differently。 As his mom， we have developed our own communication style， but there are times when I don't understand what he is communicating。 I especially appreciated the end chapters when Mr。 Fleming discusses how he views faith。 Mr。 Fleming is giving readers a gift by sharing how he thinks and how he processes information。 Knowing that he thinks in a way that would not occur to me gives me hope for my own son。 I know that my son sees the world differently。 As his mom， we have developed our own communication style， but there are times when I don't understand what he is communicating。 I especially appreciated the end chapters when Mr。 Fleming discusses how he views faith。 。。。more
Kevin K
，
Jory has an inspiring life story: overcoming severe autism in childhood to become a Rhodes scholar。 But that's kind of a double-edged sword。 He's so articulate and functions so well that he's basically an ordinary person， so the book wasn't as interesting as I expected。 Jory has an inspiring life story: overcoming severe autism in childhood to become a Rhodes scholar。 But that's kind of a double-edged sword。 He's so articulate and functions so well that he's basically an ordinary person， so the book wasn't as interesting as I expected。 。。。more
Mugren Ohaly
，
How does an interview with one autistic person constitute a guide to being human？Also， Jory himself reiterates how his autism and life experiences are unique to him， so why is the book‘s tagline “an autistic man’s guide to life”？
John Ronald
，
If I had to title this review， it would have to be the phrase I kept repeating to myself while listening。。。。"Okay， Jory。。。。"My Mom saw the author on television and got me the print version of this book， but knowing myself and that I'd never read it， I went ahead and ordered the audiobook version for myself to listen on my commutes。As Jory himself acknowledges， he's not an autism poster child nor does he want to be。 It his his personal account of his life and experiences， prompted by a non-autist If I had to title this review， it would have to be the phrase I kept repeating to myself while listening。。。。"Okay， Jory。。。。"My Mom saw the author on television and got me the print version of this book， but knowing myself and that I'd never read it， I went ahead and ordered the audiobook version for myself to listen on my commutes。As Jory himself acknowledges， he's not an autism poster child nor does he want to be。 It his his personal account of his life and experiences， prompted by a non-autistic interviewer。 Jory's experience is authentically autistic， no question。 But it is not MY autistic experience and I found Jory hard to relate to personally。 I found myself much more in tune with Sarah Kurchak's autism memoir; her experiences which she chronicles are much more familiar and relatable to me。I was slightly annoyed by Jory's self-styled Spock-like persona and neatly cleaving emotion from logic。 I understand that's his perception and that's how his autism conditions him to see the world， but I don't think the world cleaves quite so neatly between these two the way Jory implies。I just turned 50 and listening to a 20 year old pontificate on life advice and well。。。found myself pausing the disc multiple times to disagree。 Aloud。 In my car。 （sigh）。It's a good book， just not a useful book for ME personally， who wasn't diagnosed until age 39。 。。。more
Cherie Palmer
，
Jory shares his wisdom and insight in thinking differently。
Stephen Terrell
，
I read this book because of a personal interest。 Jory Fleming is an autistic young man from South Carolina who overcame a troubled time to become a Rhodes Scholar and now has a degree from Oxford。 More than any book or article I have read， Jory， with the aid of the substantial talents and understanding of co-writer Lyric Winik， tells what it is like to be autistic。 Jory explains how he thinks， how he learns， how he has grown in his ability to develop friendships， things that bother him， things t I read this book because of a personal interest。 Jory Fleming is an autistic young man from South Carolina who overcame a troubled time to become a Rhodes Scholar and now has a degree from Oxford。 More than any book or article I have read， Jory， with the aid of the substantial talents and understanding of co-writer Lyric Winik， tells what it is like to be autistic。 Jory explains how he thinks， how he learns， how he has grown in his ability to develop friendships， things that bother him， things that disrupt him， his patience for some things， his impatience for others， what he ignores， why slights and insults directed toward him do not bother him， but how slights and insults directed at others do bother him。 In short， it tells how he sees the world。In really is a guide for all of us on how to be human。 Jory emphasizes that this is only his story。 It is not the story of all people on the autism spectrum。 Other autistic people may， and probably do， see the world somewhat differently than Jory。 Nevertheless， this book and its insights are invaluable。This is a MUST read for anyone who has someone in their life who is on the autism spectrum。 In fact， this is a MUST read for everyone， as we all need to have a greater understanding and more patience for those around us， whether autistic or not。 。。。more
Jamey Yadon
，
I chose not to finish this one。 I don't enjoy the interview format。 It's too piecemeal: just as you get into thinking about one topic， the author's off to something else。 I chose not to finish this one。 I don't enjoy the interview format。 It's too piecemeal: just as you get into thinking about one topic， the author's off to something else。 。。。more
Emily
，
Thank you， Net Galley and Simon & Scheuster for the eARC！ As a mother of a child with ASD， this was definitely a helpful read。 Although it was far more analytical， theoretical， and philosophical than I expected， I appreciated the deep issues revolving around different concepts in humanity。
Britt
，
3。5 - I’ll get to a review later， but in the meantime， I caution readers to remember that this is one account of the autistic experience， as Jory himself mentions。
Melinie Chaney
，
I found this book very insightful。 I believe if I were to read it again， and again， I would probably come away with more each time。 It is a book written in a question and answer style。 It is fascinating to read how Jory interprets the world， and his experience with autism。
Lucille Taylor
，
How to Be Human: An Autistic Man's Guide to Life by Jory Fleming with Lyric Winik。 Jory Fleming was the first young adult with autism to attend Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar。 The writer was Lyric Winik who had a series of conversations with Fleming and has written a compelling narrative in Jory's own words。 Jory's gratitude for his mother's devotion and presence during his formative years and beyond helped him develop into the person he is today。 I was also impressed with how important h How to Be Human: An Autistic Man's Guide to Life by Jory Fleming with Lyric Winik。 Jory Fleming was the first young adult with autism to attend Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar。 The writer was Lyric Winik who had a series of conversations with Fleming and has written a compelling narrative in Jory's own words。 Jory's gratitude for his mother's devotion and presence during his formative years and beyond helped him develop into the person he is today。 I was also impressed with how important his faith was to him。 Reading the book was a reminder to me of how each human processes information differently。 I heard him interviewed on NPR and decided I wanted to read the book。 It was a learning experience for me。 。。。more
Brooks Lamb
，
I loved this book。。。 If you're looking for a read that is accessible and engaging yet offers deep， powerful， and illuminative insights into the human experience， pick up a copy of "How to Be Human。" It's truly excellent。 I loved this book。。。 If you're looking for a read that is accessible and engaging yet offers deep， powerful， and illuminative insights into the human experience， pick up a copy of "How to Be Human。" It's truly excellent。 。。。more
Eric
，
I work for a non-profit that employees people with disabilities including some on the autistic spectrum。 Given that I very much enjoyed Jory's insight and the story of his journey。 I didn't mind the interview/interviewee style of the questions as the information was still relatable and clearly delivered。 I enjoyed this one and would encourage anyone looking for some insight into autism to give this book a good look。 I work for a non-profit that employees people with disabilities including some on the autistic spectrum。 Given that I very much enjoyed Jory's insight and the story of his journey。 I didn't mind the interview/interviewee style of the questions as the information was still relatable and clearly delivered。 I enjoyed this one and would encourage anyone looking for some insight into autism to give this book a good look。 。。。more
Diane
，
I appreciate the valuable information in this book but it doesn't apply to all persons with autism。 Jory appears to have the benefit of available parent（s） and access to privilege many do not， one being financial support。 Every person's perspective is needed to gain insight into Autism - every piece is valuable。 I appreciate the valuable information in this book but it doesn't apply to all persons with autism。 Jory appears to have the benefit of available parent（s） and access to privilege many do not， one being financial support。 Every person's perspective is needed to gain insight into Autism - every piece is valuable。 。。。more
Abigail Stella
，
Absolutely extraordinary。 I think understanding more about how Jory‘s brain works is remarkable and very refreshing。 It’s incredible and extremely important to understand why it’s important to live a life without judging others。
Dana Sweeney
，